Five Was The Magic Number, Dammit

Have you ever had a favorite show that you wished would go on forever, only to have it disappoint you when it tried to do just that?

Believe it or not, I've already discussed how great it would have been if Supernatural had ended about five minutes before the end of the season five finale, and that discussion took place long before the first episode of season six ever hit the airwaves. Let's shave off everything after Dean and Castiel's conversation in the Impala. No Chuck-voice-over, no goodbye to Bobby, no settling down with Lisa, and definitely no resurrected Sam. Just Castiel disappearing and Dean driving through the rain and the darkness, alone with his car.  Now, if that's too ambiguous for the rest of the world, I'm not opposed to Dean vocalizing a final goodbye to his PERMANENTLY dead brother, or a closing shot of Dean arriving at Bobby's. Hell, even his arrival at Lisa's, although I think that's wildly against character - family has always been the most important thing to Dean, so he should be reluctant to let Bobby, his surrogate father, out of his sight. 

Regardless, the bottom line is that the episode could have wrapped up five years of story in a neat little package, but instead the ribbon was pulled off and the wrapping paper torn so that they could give us a cliffhanger to bring us back for an additional season. Instead we got excessive voice over (for those of us who weren't bright enough to follow what was happening without being led by the nose). We got Dean and Bobby parting. We got Sam returning from Hell (Hmmm...that seems somehow familiar...). And we got a sixth season of a show that was supposed to only run for five; a sixth season full of character flaws and plot holes the size of whales. (Go to the Museum of Natural History in NYC - whales are huge!)

I got through the first seven episodes of season six before deciding that Supernatural and I needed some time apart. This was a tough decision, since our five year relationship was obviously much more than a summer fling. I've just come back to the show this week, and I realize that I made the right choice. Jensen Ackles is still the prettiest man on television, but the rest of this season is a hot mess:

1. No Kripke - This was a warning flag when they announced it last spring. The man had carefully put together a five-season story arc, culminating in the Winchesters saving the world. Where could they possibly go from there?
2. Sam returns from Hell - Yawn. Dean already did this in season four, and Sam already returned from the dead in season two. Sam is soulless this time, you argue? Well, is there such a big difference between angry-resurrected-maybe-evil Sam from season three and indifferent-resurrected-maybe-evil Sam from season six? Um...less yelling, maybe? And I guess the lack of soul means less angst...
3. Grandpa Campbell is pointless. Really pointless. Crowley didn't need him as a middle man - he could have just used Sam's soul to make Sam and Dean do what he wants. And are we supposed to believe that the hunters of the Campbell clan are all going to welcome Grandpa back with open arms and let him boss them around? Even if good old GC serves a larger purpose before the season is out, his entire story line thus far is weak. Also, the rest of the Campbells remind me of the potential slayers from Buffy or the red shirts from Star Trek - cannon fodder.
4. The writers have apparently forgotten who their characters are. In one episode, Dean objects to Sam hitting on a waitress when the world is collapsing around them. Remember when Dean used to try to get his brother laid? Remember when Dean would allow himself to be distracted by any pretty woman who walked by? Also, Sam wavers between being a soulless ass and being normal Sam. I'd love to say that this represents Sam putting on a front that sometimes slips but, if that's the case, it's done so badly that everyone involved should deny that's what they were going for.
5. Inane dialogue runs rampant. For example, in at least two episodes this season, Dean asks Sam, "We have a Plan B?" Because, after spending his entire life hunting monsters, a backup plan wouldn't be automatic?
6. Not enough Castiel, Bobby, or Romo Lampkin...I mean Crowley. It's sad that the supporting characters are more interesting than the brothers but, let's face it, they're - at the very least - a lot less whiny.

Oh, good. In yet another example of how the writers are no longer writing to tell a story, but are instead just marking time between the characters' bitching at each other, Sam just pointed out that Meg couldn't kill them because she needed them to take her to Crowley, and Meg totally missed the opportunity to slit Dean's throat, turn around, and tell Sam,"I only need one of you." Not that I'd ever want to see Dean's throat slit because, hey, Jensen Ackles, but come on writers!!

That's not to say that it's all bad.  There's a redemptive moment for the writers when Sam rips open his own wrist with his teeth in order to make a devil's trap... I'm going to hang in there and get all caught up as we inch closer to the season (but probably still not series) finale. I like to watch Jensen Ackles (of course), and part of me is still clinging to the slim hope that the season will conclude in a way that clears away all the early-season murk and restores the awesomeness of which I know the show is capable...